Friday, November 7, 2014

Sorry for being the worst blogger :(

Hey everyone,
First of, sorry for being a crappy blogger and not being consistent with my schedule. I hate inconsistency, but unfortunately I have to dedicate the majority of my time lately to school. After putting all of my energy into papers and projects and presentations I have no energy left to write for this blog which majorly sucks. I have about three weeks of classes left, so for those weeks my posts will be up randomly whenever I can find the time to write, and after that I'll try to be more consistent again. Working full time and going to school full time is a bitch.
Thanks for understanding and hopefully you'll continue reading! I love all the comments I get even if I haven't responded to all of them.
Xo,
S

Saturday, November 1, 2014

Bonus Post - Nate's POV: I fucked up

** I know I don't do bonus posts ever and I'm sorry for that. I generally don't have enough hours in the day to get everything done, so I don't have time to do a lot of extra writing. Here is a bonus post, my first ever I think, from Nate's perspective. If the formatting is weird it's because I posted off my iPad for the first time and I have no idea what it looks like on an actual computer or on the mobile version. If anything is weird with it I will change it when I am home tomorrow night. Xo, S. 

I left Skye's house feeling like a bag of shit. I felt like I had kicked a hurt puppy and then stepped on its tail just because I could. I sat in my car for a second, trying to gather my thoughts. I shouldn't have met up with Charlie, I know that. And I hadn't done it on purpose. Her and Diane were good friends I just never assumed that's who Diane had invited for dinner. But still, that wasn't an excuse. I shouldn't have let Charlie stay over, I shouldn't have even had dinner with her. None of it looked good, but I had been honest when I'd told Skye that nothing between us had happened. Some idiot pulled up in his douchey back BMW behind me, so, with a final glance at Skye's house, I pulled into the street. 

Somehow I had to figure out how to get Skye to trust me and believe me when I said that I wanted to only be with her. She was funny, and smart, and when she laughed I seriously thought every problem in the world could be solved. And she was stunning. Never in a million years had I thought that I would find purple hair even remotely attractive, on Skye it was the sexiest thing I'd ever seen. I know it sounds cheesy, but i thought about her every second every day. 

"Why do I keep fucking this up?" I muttered to myself, driving out of Seattle towards home. I was lucky enough to be able to afford a house on the edge of the city on a piece of land that gave me the privacy I so loved. Hell, I could afford a hundred properties like that, but the thing about not growing up with money is knowing what it's like to have to live without. 

I knew I had to do something fast, or I was going to lose Skye. And that's something that I wasn't prepared to do. I have never felt like this about anyone in my life. The only woman I even had feelings for (in a very platonic way) was Diane. 

Speaking of Diane, I had to call her. I gave the Bluetooth in my car the command to call her and got lost in my thoughts again as the phone rang.   Skye's hurt expression is something I would never forget, but what really got to me was the disgusted expression on her face when I told her about meeting up with Charlie. Never have I felt worse about anything. 

"Nate? Hello?" Diane's voice came through the speakers. 

"Oh, shit." I turned into my driveway. "What are you doing?" I sounded a lot more grumpy than intended. 

"Who shit in your cornflakes this morning?" Diane laughed on the other end. 

"Are you done monopolizing all of my drivers time?" I pulled up to my garage which opened automatically. 

"Oh, come on, don't be grumpy. I told you I had a work emergency last night." She paused, most likely to examine her more than perfect manicure. "Are you and Charlie back together finally?" 

"You own a clothing store, I doubt there was an emergency. And no we're definitely not together." 

She puffed out a breath over the phone. "Boutique! Not store! And why not? You guys looked so cozy last night. It's all over Twitter." 

I groaned. "Yeah, how is that? Why are there pictures of us?"

"Because you're soooo cute together." She said in a singsong voice that made me want to strangle her a bit. 

"Yeah well thanks to that and Charlie's persistence I seriously fucked things up with Skye." I shut off the engine but stayed in my car.

"Ugh, why do you care so much about her? You know you can do better!" 

"Watch it." I bit out. "She happens to mean a lot to me."

Diane sighed on the other end. "Fineeeee. She's nice, I guess. But Charlie and you are meant for each other."

"I'm done talking about this. I'm not talking to Charlie again. And, Diane, don't try to set me up like that again. I don't want to have to question my trust in you." 

"Woah, Nate. Come on, you know I didn't do it to hurt you. I'm sorry." She didn't sound completely sincere. Diane would never do anything to hurt me deliberately but her actions were sometimes questionable.

"Don't do it again. I have to go." 

"Okay. Let's go for lunch this week. Love you!" Diane hung up cheerfully and I wasn't entirely sure she got my message. I generally sided with my cousin on things, but her trying to interfere with my relationship was something I was not okay with. 

I walked into my empty house from the attached garage. It was quiet, and empty. The house was beautiful, but it was missing any sign of life. I spent as much time here as I could, but working 16 to 18 days in the city kept me from actually living in it. Suddenly feeling exhausted and way older than my 29 years of age, I sat down on the uncomfortable, but stylish, couch and closed my eyes. Things had to change.