Summertime Sadness

I spent Friday night in my sweat pants, cuddled up with Koda, watching re-runs of The Tonight Show (Jimmy Fallon has my heart). Katie came over in her sweat pants and I filled her in on what had gone on in the week with Jess. I left the part about Ashley and Nate making out in the elevator until the very end and Katie almost choked on her wine.

"You're kidding, right?"

"I wish. It was seriously so gross I thought I was going to throw up. Apparently he goes after all the new girls."

"Has he talked to you since?"

"He's tried but other than texting you I've ignored my other messages and turned my phone off."

"Sweetie, I'm sorry. That totally sucks. I liked him, I was hoping he would not turn out to be super shady."

I didn't feel like talking about him anymore so Katie told me stories about her first weeks teaching Kindergarten and how she had found one of the kids' dad on tinder.

"He swiped right on me, but doesn't know it's me because it doesn't have my actual last name on it." She explained.

She told me more about her tinder dates and how 99% of them have been total fails but she had gone on a date with one guy she really liked.

"Well, be careful, you never know what kind of creep will find you on there."

"I know, I know. I want to see him again but I kinda want your impression of him."

"Clearly I know nothing about men." I laughed and took a big sip of wine so I wouldn't feel sorry for myself. "We should had a last-weekend-of-summer BBQ this weekend. Like tomorrow."

Katie clapped her hands together, scaring Koda in the process. "Sorry, buddy. I love it!"

"We can do it here and invite Chris and Daniel, and Hannah. And that's pretty much all the people I know here which is so sad." I added.

I send Chris a text letting him know our plan, then checked outside to see if the old BBQ I had in the yard was even functional. The lid fell off when I opened it so I didn't think that was a good sign. And I'm no expert but I feel like if there is a giant hole burned in the back it's probably not safe to use. Hopefully my Oma hadn't used this, ever!

Katie left around 10 and promised to be back by noon so she could help me set up. She had invited a few of her friends to come tomorrow and I was excited to meet more people.

Daniel came grocery shopping with me in the morning because Chris got called into work for a few hours. I got along really well with him and we had fun getting groceries together. Katie showed up at noon with a huge bowl of pasta salad and a cooler full of booze. Daniel left to get a portable electric cooler from his house that we could set up outside.

I was trying to be enthusiastic about the BBQ but my phone, that had gone silent, was burning a hole in my pocket. I constantly thought I heard or felt it vibrate even though it eras evident that Nate had given up. His last text came in at 9ish last night and he'd gone radio-silent on me since. Probably for the best, now I could attempt to forget about this whole awkward mess.

Koda was loving the excitement and wary of it all at the same time. He was extra excited when Chris showed up because they were familiar with each other and followed either him or me around all night.

At 6.30ish, after we had sat around and drank most afternoon while occasionally preparing food, Hannah showed up with two girls I didn't know. One had seriously the coolest hair I had ever seen. It was super long, bright red and in gigantic curls. She looked like a mermaid and I instantly wanted to be friends with her. She introduced herself as Tash and explained she was a hairdresser. Mermaid hair now totally makes sense. The other girl was a little quieter and Tash introduced her as Tiffany. A couple of Chris and Daniel's friends showed up and hung out with Chris at the BBQ (he had brought his over which was much less of a fire hazard).

We played drinking games in the backyard and I made friends with Katie's and Chris' friends. Kurtis, Katie’s tinder-date who had showed up halfway through dinner, seemed to fit in with everyone really well. Not surprisingly, Chris was not overly impressed with him, but when is a big brother every instant-bffs with their little sister’s new date. I liked him, he was really good looking and very charming, I just hoped he wasn’t stringing Katie along or a player (although what can you expect from Tinder? I have absolutely no experience with it).

It got a little cooler when the sun was gone completely so the boys lit a fire in the fire pit I had in the back and we all moved our chairs around it to stay warm.

“I’m going to go grab a jacket, does anyone want anything from inside?” I asked, standing up from my spot by the fire. In all honesty I was going inside to check my phone and take a breather. I loved all of Chris’ and Katie’s friends, but I couldn’t get my mind off Nate. No one needed anything, so I went inside by myself with Koda following close behind.  

I sat down on my bed and cuddled Koda close to me. I hated feeling this way, but I was straight up sad. I just couldn’t shake it. It may have been the couple of drinks I had but I picked up my phone and looked for Nate’s number. I had just dialed it when the doorbell rang downstairs.