Message from S.

Hello my lovely readers!
Thanks for all the great feedback lately, I am loving it and it makes writing so much more fun. I have heard a couple times that the storyline is close to Fifty Shades of Grey. I don't really see it, but I did read the first book when it first came out a couple of years ago so maybe I'm unintentionally incorporating it. That being said, I will try to stay away from it the best I can.
Have a great long weekend everyone!!
Xo,
S.

Talks

"What...what are you doing here?" I asked Nathanial after opening the door. Katie, Chris, and Jess had gone quiet in the living room.

Nathanial looked good enough to eat. His tie, suit jacket, and vest were gone and a couple of the top buttons on his shirt were undone. His hair that had been relatively tame before was a wild mess on his head and looked like he had run his fingers through a few times. I had to consciously remind myself that this was the owner of the company (and many others) that I worked for and having sex with him on my doorstep would be so inappropriate.

"Can we talk?" He looked over my shoulder at the people in my living room who, I'm sure, were openly staring. "Outside."

"Um...sure?" I followed him outside and sat down on the top step, Koda sniffing around outside before finding his place on my lap. Nathaniel took a seat beside me and surprisingly Koda didn't growl for once.

He seemed hesitant for a moment as if unsure where to start. "I am Nathaniel Steel as you figured out tonight. I'm sorry about you finding out the way you did."

I nodded. "Why did you let me believe you were just some assistant?"

"I don't know. It just felt good to be nobody for once I guess."

I laughed and it sounded hollow to my ears. "That's so cliché."

This was the first time I've ever seen him unsure of something. "It's true though. Would you have come even close to me if you knew I owned not just Steel Publishing but everything with the Steel name and others that aren't under my name?"

I considered this for a moment. I had already been reluctant to be close to someone in the company who I thought was an assistant so getting close with the owner was out of the question. "No, probably not."

"Exactly." He ran his hand through his hair messing it up even more.

"Okay...doesn't this put my job in jeopardy? Our policy is strictly against any sort of relationship that's not professional between employees."

He laughed. I think this was the first time I've heard him laugh and it was such a great sound. "No. I'm not an employee."

Duh! "But I don't want this to fuck up my reputation. This is my career and I can't jeopardize that by being known as someone who-" I wasn't sure how to put it. "Who did what I did..." I finished lamely. I'm so good with words, obviously.

"If anyone finds out it's not going to be from me. The last thing I want to do is put you in a compromising situation."

"Okay, then we will just pretend nothing happened and move on and we'll both be fine." Even as I said it I felt sad about it. I wasn't ready for Nathaniel to be out of my life.

He looked directly at me. "What if I want to keep seeing you?"

I looked up at him in surprise. "What? What about the woman I keep seeing you with?"

"That's my cousin, Diane. She's currently in the process of selling me her small amount of shares she has with Steel." He explained.

"Oh." I didn't know what else to say. This was overwhelming. The gorgeous billionaire wanted to see me? I'm definitely not material for someone like him, I was more of the girl-next-door type. 

He waited for me to say something and when I didn't he spoke up again. "I like you, Skye. We can keep this private and between us for now, but I really want to get to know you better."

My heart fluttered. Was this really happening? "Okay. But other than my friends who know I know you no one else can know. I love my job and it's important to me."

"Deal." He stood up. "I'll call you."

I frowned. "Don't you need my number for that? Wait, how do you even know where I live?"

He looked embarrassed for a second before he was back to his normal, cocky self. "You work in my company, I can look it up."

"Hmm. Well how about you just ask for my number instead of being a creep?"

"A creep?!" He looked amused and almost smiled. "Fine, would you do me the honor of giving me your number?"

I laughed and rattled off my number. He put it in his phone, thanked me, and walked off towards his waiting car. He was almost at the car when he turned around and came back. Nathaniel stopped right in front of me, placed his hands on either side of my face and planted a kiss on me that melted my insides.

"I can't seem to keep my hands off you." He whispered before giving me one more hot kiss. "I'll call." With that he left.

Oh boy, what have I gotten myself into. 

Late Night Visits

Katie was still up with Koda snuggled on the far end on the couch when we came home (it was still early after all), and we filled her in on the situation. Her reaction was similar to mine which made me feel better. Koda wagged his tail, eyed Chris mistrustfully and cautiously made his way close to me.

"Wait, don’t pick him up with your dress on. You'll get hair all over it." Katie said as I bend to pick him up.

I picked him up anyways and sat down carefully on the floor with him. "I don’t even care. Katie, I'm so embarrassed."

"I feel ya. I think I would be too, but I've never made out with someone who was billionaire while repeatedly calling him the assistant." She smirked at me and Chris swatted her with a pillow as he walked by. "Why wouldn't he tell you? He must have a good reason, right?"

"I don't know. And I don’t think I care." I took a sip of wine from the glass Chris handed me. I know it was a lie because I did want to know why he hadn't been up front about it and why no one at work had clued me in. Probably because everyone thought I knew who he was and no one had ever seen us together.

There was a knock on the door. Chris got up to open it, Koda growled suspiciously, and my heart skipped a beat because maybe, just maybe, it was Nathanial. It wasn't.

"Jess?" I stared at her in disbelief. "Why are you here?" I asked, before I could stop myself.

She looked rough, not quite as rough as last time but still not her usual self. She glanced hesitantly at me, Katie, then over to Chris. "We broke up."

A sigh escaped. "Well, come on in. Was he like last time?"

She nodded and Chris closed the door behind her. Katie patted the seat beside her and Jess sank down into the cushions of the couch.

"If you want to tell us, you can, but it's not okay for you to leave like you did last time." I felt bad for the tough love, however, I was completely unwilling to get caught in between Jess and Reece's back and forth drama. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah. I'm sorry." She sniffled some more, and while Katie still looked like she wasn't entirely sure about the situation, she laid her and on Jess' and squeezed (Such a Chris/Katie move).

Chris left to go change out of his suit with the promise to come back and bring some appetizers he had in the freezer to heat in the oven (I was starving). I ran upstairs with Koda close behind me to change out of my pretty gown and wash off my make-up. Only the comfiest clothes would do after the weird day that I had. I took a couple minutes to just snuggle with my puppy (carefully, although he had gotten pretty comfortable with me so far). I was rewarded with a wet kiss on the nose from him which melted my heart. We went back downstairs where Chris was stacking a couple of racks full of delicious looking appetizers in the oven.

I sat down on the couch beside Jess. Katie got up to join her brother in the kitchen and to give us some privacy. My four-legged attachment curled up on my lap.

"What happened?"

"Like last time, but I left faster this time. I'm sorry I left last time. I panicked thinking that the best thing that has ever happened to me was going to get away…" Jess trailed off, avoiding eye contact with me.

I let out another sigh. "That is not the best thing that's ever happened to you. You have a great career, you are a wonderful person when you're not around Rheece."

"I know, I know. Sometimes I just feel so down that I forget everything else. And I'm so scared I'm losing this next modelling gig I have lined up because I've been anything but focused."

"Jess, why don't you stay with me for a while, for real this time, until you have your feet back under you." And get away from Rheece for a while, but I didn’t say that out loud. She looked so down already that I couldn't pile more on top.

She gave me a wobbly smile. "Can I take you up on that offer? I need to get away from this situation."

"Of course, that's why I offered." This was going to be interesting for sure, and I hoped I wasn't going to regret this. "I have one condition, and that is that Rheece never sets foot in this house. While you are more than welcome here, he is absolutely not."

"Yes, of course. I totally understand that."

I felt more comfortable with my decision to let Jess stay here once I got that out in the open. Chris and Katie brought over more wine and chicken wings, jalapeno poppers, and salt and pepper dry ribs. We pigged out (Koda got a few small tastes of the ribs, I couldn't resist his puppy eyes) and filled Jess in on our eventful evening. We had just finished our stories, when the doorbell rang. I got up to answer the door, my tiny dog growling beside me. I peeked through the peephole first and almost dropped my wine.

Nathanial was standing on my front step. 

Charity Event Revelations

I spend a couple of sleepless nights thinking about Nathanial's and my make out session in the stairwell (seriously, I felt like a 16 year old girl after she got her first kiss behind the high school bleachers). I decided to forget about it and focus on work. Luckily we had no more run-ins at the Steele building. As promised, Katie came over Friday afternoon once I was done work. She curled my hair while we drank this delicious rose wine Breanne had purchased during her visit. Once I was dressed and my make-up complete, Katie and I admired her seriously awesome knack for styling hair. My blonde hair was curled in big lose curls with a deep part on the left. She had pinned part of my hair behind my ear on the left side, the end result was seriously stunning and I could take absolutely no credit for it.

Chris picked me up at seven-thirty so we could make it in for the cocktails at eight and showered me with compliments (just like he should LOL). Katie waved us off at the door with her glass of wine and promised she would have a sleepover so we could all go for brunch in the morning.

"Remember to leave before you turn back into a pumpkin." She called from the door.

Our drive took less than twenty minutes and we found parking easily in the parking garage just down the block (valet parking seemed just a little too pretentious for us). The venue for the charity event was perfectly decorated and already full of guests. Proceeds from the silent auction that was being held went to a foundation that was battling the illiteracy problem in our country. We found Spencer right away and introduced Chris to him. They immediately hit it off which didn't surprise me because Chris seems to get along with everyone, making him the perfect date for this.

I spotted Nathanial's girlfriend while we were getting drinks. She looked stunningly flawless of course which made me feel even shittier about this weird relationship (can we call it that?!) I had with him. Clearly I couldn't even begin to compete with her. I subtly pointed her out to Chris.

"Are you sure that's his girlfriend?" He asked.

I shrugged. "I've seen them together a few times."

"Hmm." He casually gestured towards her as she locked lips with a handsome, blonde man that was definitely not Nathanial.

"Oh. Well, I guess I was wrong on that one." I grinned at him, feeling much better about the Nathanial-situation. “Let’s go check out what’s up for bidding at the silent auction, maybe you can buy me a romantic weekend at a remote cabin.”

We browsed through the silent auction items, bidding on a spa day that was way out of my budget and a wine making kit that Chris was pretty eager about. There apparently really was a romantic weekend getaway at a remote cabin that Chris jokingly bid on. I was still on edge because I knew Nathanial was here somewhere among all the guests. By the time our attention was called for the speeches (yawn!) I still hadn’t caught sight of him so I felt much more relaxed.

A couple of publishers, the head of the literacy foundation, and various “important” people did their speeches, Mr. Steel was called up for his speech. I fidgeted with my glass of wine because wherever Mr. Steel went, Nathanial, as his assistant, went too.

I saw Nathanial, looking oh so hot and somewhat uncomfortable in a three piece grey suit. I was a few rows of people away from the podium, but still made eye contact with him. I practically melted and glanced sideways at Chris, who grinned down at me.

Instead of Mr. Steel giving the speech, Nathanial started talking. People hung on to his every word, and I was pretty impressed with how well he was giving his speech. I was starting to think that he was giving Mr. Steel quite the introductory speech when Chris nudged me.

“That’s Nathanial, right?” He whispered.

I nodded. “Yeah, he’s gorgeous, hey?”

“Totally.” Chris chuckled. “Skye, Nathanial is Mr. Steel.”

I looked at him in disbelief. “WHAT?!” I said louder than I intended and a few people glanced at me. “No!” I whispered back fiercely. Nathanial was not Mr. Steel, he was definitely the assistant.

“Pretty sure that’s Nathanial Steel right there. Generally very elusive, much younger than everyone thinks. I think everyone still thinks of his grandfather when they hear anything related to Steel.”

Fuck. As if I didn’t already feel stupid enough. “I told him right to his face that he was Mr. Steel’s assistant the other day and he said nothing to correct me, just shoved his tongue down my throat.”

“Ew, didn’t need to know the details. It’s for sure him. I can’t believe I didn’t put it all together sooner.”

I looked up from my intense, whispered conversation with Chris having missed most of Nathanial’s speech. He was still talking, looking directly at me. Why had he lied to me? As if Nathanial being an employee didn’t already put my job at enough risk. If anyone found out I had almost had sex with the boss of the entire cooperation I could lose my job and ruin my whole professional reputation.

As I looked right back at him, I got past some of the confusion and started feeling equally sad and mad. I’d been played. Fml!

“Can we go?” I asked Chris quietly, my eyes not leaving Nathanial’s.

“Hmm?”

“Let’s go.” I took Chris’ hand and weaved my way through the crowd that was still enthralled by Nathanial’s speech.

We made it to the bar and dropped our empty glasses off. “He wrapped that speech up pretty quick.” Chris mentioned.

“Whatever, let’s just go.” We headed towards the exit and had made it all the way out the door when Nathanial called my name. “Keep going.” I nudged Chris forward when he slowed to wait for Nathanial to catch up.

“Talk to him.” Chris stopped me. I looked around to see Nathanial following us.

“Chris, I don’t want to. Can we please, please just go before I burst into tears?” I pleaded.

He spend a second staring at me intently. “Fine. Come on, babe.” He took my hand in his and we hurried towards his car.

I could hear Nathanial’s pace quicken behind us but I made it into the car before he could catch up to us. Chris closed the car door behind me when Nathanial came up. I couldn’t hear what they were saying and I wasn’t about to peak out. A minute or two passed before Chris opened his car door and folded himself into the driver’s seat.

“He’ll leave you alone for now.” He murmured and squeezed my hand. It instantly reassured me.

I looked out the window as we left the parking garage and spotted Nathanial standing at the entrance of the charity event. Although it was relatively dark, I knew that he saw me and I couldn’t find it in me to look away. 

Stairwell Encounter

*You guys, I'm so sorry for not posting on Friday. My boyfriend has decided to take the remainder of the summer off (yay!!) and I was on holidays from my job, so we decided to go on an impromptu trip to spend some quality time together (he has been working away for the majority of the last year). That being said, inconsistency is one of my worst pet peeves and I am now back to being consistent. Thanks for reading!! Xo, S.*

Monday afternoon, after an uneventful day at work, Katie and I went shopping for Friday night's charity event. Clothes are really the only thing in my life that I always feel indecisive about, but thanks to Pinterest ideas and Katie's help we found something relatively quick. That something was a long, flow-y, royal blue dress that I would be wearing with nude heels and went perfectly with my blonde hair. Loved it! After our express shopping trip I took Katie out for sushi as a thanks for coming with me on such short notice. She offered to come over Friday to do my hair for the event and I gladly took her up on her offer (messy buns are apparently "not fancy enough" for these things).

On Wednesday, Kathy and I went for coffee. I asked her what she was wearing for Friday night's event and she gave me a quizzical look.

"I'm not going. Are you?"

"Um…yeah. Spencer said I was invited, so I assumed everyone else was too?" I said questioningly. This was weird.

Kathy shook her head. "No one in the HR department, other than Spencer, usually gets invited. That will be fun though. What are you wearing?"

I filled her in on my dress choice, but was kind of distracted trying to figure out how I had wrangled an invite. I was also a little bit worried about how the other employees in HR felt about me being invited and hoped that Spencer had kept it on the down low. Nathanial was the only I one I could think of who would have had Spencer extend the invitation to me, but I hadn't seen him since our awkward elevator run in last week. Just the thought of that made me cringe, so at lunch time I avoided the elevator and took the stairs. Let me tell you, taking the stairs in heels is literally the worst possible thing you can do to yourself.

Green tea in one hand and, by the third floor, my shoes in the other, I was making my way up the stairs when the door coming from some floor to the stairwell flew open. It was my lucky day. Nathanial stood in the doorway, looking so, so good,  with the most exasperated expression on his face.

"What are you doing?"

It took every ounce of patience I had not to roll my eyes at him. "What does it look like I'm doing? Taking the stairs."

He sighed and took a couple of steps towards me, the door slamming shut behind him. "Why?"

"I was actually trying to avoid you but that seems pointless now." I said honestly.

"Skye, I want to apologize for my behaviour the other night, it was completely inappropriate."

Ugh, yes thanks, you made that pretty clear that night. "Yup." Was all I said.

He raised his eyebrows (damn it that made him look even more hot). "These are not the kind of situations I usually get myself into."

"Nathanial, stop. I'm over this. I regret it as much as you do, and I don't even have a significant other that could get hurt in this." He stared right into my soul but I continued on. "I don’t want to talk about this anymore. This is my place of work, just as it is yours. I don't need any more run-ins with you and your girlfriend because they are just way too awkward for me." That being said I felt like I was done with this conversation. "I have work to do, and I'm sure Mr. Steel needs you."

"I'm sure he does." Nathanial murmured. "But I'm not done with this."

We stared at each other silently for either a few seconds or a few hours. I don't know. Involuntarily I moved closer to him, as Nathanial took the final step towards me. He pulled me closer with his hand on my lower back, his other on the back of my neck. I offered absolutely no resistance as his mouth crushed down on mine. My hands were full with my tea and shoes, but I wanted nothing more than to slide them inside his open suit jacket and explore his muscular back through the fabric of his dress shirt. The building could have been on fire, and I wouldn’t have stopped kissing this man. I was obsessed.

A door slammed shut somewhere in the stairwell, and Nathanial pulled away breathing hard. I finally came to my senses.

"Shit!" Why did I do that? Especially after my little speech about regretting our last encounter. And then I did it again!! Ugh!!! "Shit." I said again more to myself than him.

I couldn't even look at him. I was sure he had a girlfriend, and I had just kissed him again, knowing he had a girlfriend. I did the only thing that felt right to me, and hurried barefoot up the stairs away from Nathanial. I heard him call my name, but I kept going until I reached my floor. He didn’t follow me and when I got to my office I sat down and caught my breath for the first time.

Kathy popped her head in. "Everything okay? You practically ran past me." She inspected me a little closer. "What happened to your hair?"

"Oh!" My hand flew to fix the back of my hair. "I just decided to take the stairs today."

"Well aren't you adventurous, dear." She said, and bustled away.

Little did she know….

Furry Friend

I have a dog! A very cute Yorkie-mix that was about 8 or 9 years old. I had initially thought about getting a bigger dog but I fell in love with this one the second I saw him. I had been told he was rescued from an abusive home and could therefore be a bit timid until he felt safe. He had some scarring under his right eye that had so far not affected his vision. I have never understood how anyone could hurt and innocent little animal like this and seeing the scars made me just want to take care of him. No one knew what his name had been before but he had picked up the name Koda at the adoption center which I thought was super cute.

After all the paper work was filled out, my fee was paid, and the references I had provided were checked I was allowed to take Koda home. I was beyond ecstatic about my tiny furry friend. Katie drove us home so we could get acquainted on the drive. He looked at everything with a distrustful expression (who can blame him?!) and flinched every time one of us made any sudden movements. It was heartbreaking.

I had pet supplies set up at home for him including the biggest puppy pillow I could find. Koda stuck close to me when we brought him inside and Katie left soon after to give us time to bond.

With probably more detail and talking than necessary I showed him the backyard, where his food and water was, and where his brand new puppy pillow/bed was. After some hesitant exploring he curled up in the corner of the room and fell asleep.

I sent my family and friends a picture of him, and uploaded a picture on Instagram (#adoptdontshop). I was laying on the couch debating what to do with the rest of my day when my phone vibrated indicating I had a text. And that text was from Jess.

Such a cute dog. Can't wait to see it!! 

Was she being real? I hadn't heard from her since she hid out here and that's all she could say to me since making her quick exit. Instead of texting her I decided to call her. I was surprised she answered.

"Oh, hi Skye! It's so good to hear from you." She said cheerfully on the other end.

While I was normally not a confrontational person I was over Jess' back and forth behaviour. "What is your problem? You show up here crying and totally upset, then leave as fast as you can and then I just get this text from you ten days later?"

There was a surprised silence on the other end. "I don't know what you're talking-"

"Yes, you do! I don't mind helping you but I can't deal with your back and forth behavior. You like me, you hate me. I just don’t get it."

"Whatever." And with that she hung up.

I laid motionless on the couch for a while wondering if I'd done the right thing. I didn't want to get tangled up in whatever confusing web her and Rheece were spinning. If she needed help I would help her in a heartbeat but not if she kept pretending everything was peachy.

A cold nose touched my hand that was dangling of the couch. "Hey, buddy!" I slowly reached out to pet Koda's head, and although he flinched slightly, he didn't move otherwise. Step in the right direction.

With slow movements I got off the couch and found his new leash and collar. "Let's go see if Chris wants to go for a walk with us."

We spend the remainder of the day exploring the neighborhood trails and looking for off-leash parks. Chris joined us once he had finished whatever work he was doing from home and was delighted to meet Koda. 

“Forget about him, babe.” Was Chris’ take on the Nathanial situation. “You handled it like a boss!”

I laughed. “Thanks, it was so awkward. Hey, on a completely unrelated note, want to be my date for this charity function next Friday? It’s kinda short notice but I forgot about it until Spencer mentioned it yesterday.”

“Asking me out on date, are ya?” He nudged me with his elbow and we slowed down so Koda could sniff a bush on the side of the path. “But yeah, I’ll for sure go. I’m guessing it’s black-tie?”

“Yup. Which reminds me that I need to go shopping tomorrow but I’ll recruit your sister for that.” I hooked my arm through his. “Thanks for coming with me. And also thanks so much for the dog suggestion.”

Koda lifted his tiny back leg and did his business on a nearby tree, looking infinitely happier already than he did that morning. Safe to say I was head over heels in love with my little guy already.

Loneliness and Confusion

Breanne and spend the remainder of her time with me relaxing and exploring the area around Seattle (has anyone ever been to a more magical place than Olympic National park?!). I worked all day Monday and had just enough time to grab dinner with Breanne before I had to drop her off at the airport. I sat in the airport until the plane she was on took off and then felt sad and lonely. I missed her so much already and she had barely even left. I drove back to my house that seemed a little too quiet now that she was gone. I changed out of my work clothes into a pair of tights and an oversized sweater and headed next door to see if Chris was home.

He answered the door in just his pyjama pants but let me in right away. Out of nowhere I burst into tears (although I'm generally a happy, optimistic person I did this quite a bit). He cuddled me on the couch and waited until I was cried out.

"What's wrong, babe?" He asked, brushing my hair away from my face soothingly.

"I don't even know. I just dropped Breanne off at the airport and now I feel so lonely." I sniffed and very attractively wiped my nose with the back of my hand. "Sorry for bringing my pity party over here."

"Don't be sorry. Ever. You're always welcome here and you know that." He kissed the top of my head. "Seems like the whole Jess-drama, Nathaniel-confusion, and Breanne-leaving just got to you."

I had to agree with that. I feel like a lot had happened in the last week when my life was usually borderline boring. I hadn't seen or heard from Nathanial and at this point I thought it was best to just forget about the whole embarrassing incident.

"Have you ever thought about getting a dog?" Chris asked randomly.

I gave him a puzzled look. "Um, no. Why?"

"I just think it might help with the whole feeling lonely thing and also good protection. It's nice to come home to something every day and you live all by yourself. Plus you have a big backyard and work pretty good hours."

I thought about what he said for a moment. "True. Why don't you have a dog then?"

"I would love one but my hours are too crazy. It wouldn't get the attention it deserved and that's not fair." He explained.

I did love dogs and missed my parents dog Gus immensely. Nothing kills the feeling of being alone like puppy cuddles and sloppy doggy kisses.

That gave me something to think about for the rest of the night. I obviously didn't want to make a rash decision because having a dog meant having it for the rest of its life and that is a big deal to me. I decided to call my parents the next morning and see what they thought and, after chatting with Chris for a while longer, I went to bed in a much better mood.

My mom immediately started worrying about me when I mentioned that I was thinking about getting a dog but I reassured her that I was doing great here. Both my parents thought it was a great idea and encouraged me to get an older dog so I didn't have to train a puppy and leave a puppy alone all day. My mind was pretty much made up but I wanted to give it till the weekend to make sure this wasn't an impulse decision.

I drove into work in a great mood. I hadn't seen Nathaniel in the building since we went for lunch so I wasn't worried about running into him.

My morning was filled with interviews, a policy revision, and meetings with Spencer. Before I knew it, it was lunch time and I grabbed my wallet to run down to the bistro and grab a sandwich. I sent a text to Katie about possibly getting a dog and she offered to visit some shelters with me this week.

I was waiting for my sandwich and people-watched out the window. I took a big sip of my green tea then almost spit it out when I watched Nathanial stepping out of the back of a black car. He wasn't alone. Seconds later he reached down to help the gorgeous brunette out of the car that I had seen him with before. She laughed at something he said, slipped her arm through his, and together they walked into the building. I lost sight of them when my order got called.

Fml! This seriously sucked. I grabbed my sandwich and tea and headed for the elevator.

S: Saw Nathanial with the VS model look alike...

K: Fuck! Seriously? Not impressed.

S: Me neither. As if I don't already feel shitty enough about the whole thing.

K: Don't even waste two seconds on him. Not worth it!! Xoxo

I smiled at Katie's text and look up when the elevator stopped. We still had a few floor to go before we got to mine.

The doors dinged open and Nathanial and his lady friend got in. I made eye contact with him before I could stop myself and he just stared at me.

"Skye." He finally said.

I flashed him an obviously fake smile and proceeded to ignore him. They few seconds it normally took to get to my floor dragged on and on. The elevator stopped at my floor after what seemed like an eternity. Before I had a chance to make my escape, Nathanial spoke up again.

"I'd like a word with you. Come up to the top floor when you are free."

I almost laughed. "I don't think so. Have a good day!" I hurried out of the elevator before he had a chance to respond and went back to work with my mind preoccupied for the rest of the day. 

Mistakes

"Come here." Nathanial said and pulled me to the door and outside.

I followed more than willingly. Maybe it was my buzz from the alcohol or the giddiness from having Breanne here, but I felt great and seeing Nathanial who has been haunting my dreams just made me feel that much better. He led me down the street and into a dark back alley. Not once did I question where he was taking me or what we were going to do. All I knew is that I wanted him, and I wanted him now.

All of a sudden Nathanial stopped and I teetered on my heels at the abrupt halt. He spun around and pushed me up against the wall. His mouth crushed down on mine as he trapped both my wrists with his long fingers and raised them over my head. Even with my heels he had to bend down to reach my mouth. I parted my lips to let his tongue in while his free hand roamed up my thigh and under my dress. He let go of my wrists and, using both his hands, hoisted me up so my legs could wrap around his waist. Nathanial never broke this insanely passionate kiss as his hand brushed over my butt to slide a finger under my thong. I was wet. I wanted this. I ran my hands through his hair, my senses in overdrive. The bottom of my dressed was bunched up around my waist. While this is never something I would normally do, and I mean never (!), at this moment I didn't care where we were and who saw us. All I knew is that I wanted him more in this moment than I had ever wanted anyone else in my life. I reached between us to undo the button of his pants and felt his impressive erection. I needed him inside me right now.

Out of nowhere, Nathanial set me down and took a step back, his breathing heavy. My vision was slightly fuzzy and my breathing as uneven as his as I pulled the bottom of my dress down.

"This was a mistake." He said after a moment of silence that was only interrupted by the occasional sounds of traffic coming from the road.

I couldn't quite get my thoughts in order and couldn't figure out what to say to that. I was extremely turned on and so confused. Before I had a chance to say anything he ran his hand through his already messy hair, looked at me one last time, then turned around and left the dark alley disappearing around the street corner.

"What the fuck." Was the only thing I could say, but he was long gone and couldn't hear me anymore.

I stood for a moment longer, feeling completely sober and more than a little embarrassed by my outburst of passion or lust or whatever it was. A shiver ran over my skin and realization struck me that I was all by myself in a dark alley in the middle of the night. As fast as I could I hurried out of alley and back to the bar. I found my group of friends right away and Breanne looked understandably pissed.

"You jerk. I've been so worried!" She said accusingly but went to fix my hair (that probably looked like I had just about had sex with someone against a brick wall).

"I know, I'm sorry. I wasn’t thinking at all."

"Jess said you left with Nathanial. What happened? I didn’t even get a good look at him."

Chris handed me a drink silently, squeezed my hand like he always does knowing full well I would fill him in later, and went back to his conversation with Daniel. Katie hurried over from the bar and demanded details immediately.

"Ugh. We kissed, then he said it was a mistake and ditched me very fast." I don’t know if it was my new drink that started up my buzz again, but I was pissed. He was the one that dragged me outside, he was the one that had initiated the kiss. Sure, I had participated very willingly (and enthusiastically), but he was the one that made the moves. Also, in my opinion you can't kiss someone like that and then declare it a mistake. That's just hurtful.

"I'm not impressed with him." Katie stated. "Totally hot for him to kiss you like that. Totally not okay to call it a mistake and also, not okay to just leave you by yourself in a dark alley."

Breanne echoed her sentiments and wrapped her arm around my shoulders. "Forget about him. Let's just have fun okay? I love you."

I smiled at her. "I love you too. I'm so glad you're here!"

We spent another hour drinking and dancing, and while I had a good time, I couldn't stop thinking about Nathanial. I was mad at him and myself for losing control like that. Clearly he was right and this was a mistake. Even with how pissed and confused I was, part of me knew I would do it over again. 

BFF time!!

I'm coming for a visit this weekend! Get readdddddyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!! Xoxo

This was the message I had gotten Thursday night from Breanne and I was beyond exstatic! She was flying up Friday night and leaving Monday evening which gave us almost three whole days together. To say that I have missed my best friend is a bit of an understatement. For seven years we had seen each other at least once every week and had multiple phone dates during the week. I was so excited to introduce her to Chris and Katie, and was 100% they were going to get along great. I left work a few minutes early Friday afternoon, after double checking with Spencer to make sure I wouldn't be missed, and drove to pick up Breanne from Sea-Tac. Airport pic-ups were my favorite thing in the whole world because in my experience it was always a happy experience to me.

Breanne and I squealed like we were sixteen when we saw each other again. It had been a couple months since my move and we hadn't seen each other since. We talked non-stop on the way to my house and opened a bottle of rose the second we got through the front door. Breanne carried her suitcase up to the guest room (she had been here with me before on one of my trips to visit my Oma) and came back downstairs.

"Have you heard from Jess at all since last weekend?" She asked and plunked herself down at the kitchen table while I shoved appetizers into the oven.

I shook my head. "Nope, nothing. But I haven't tried reaching out to her either. I want to help her but I don't know how and part of me just really doesn't want to get involved."

"Yeah I don't blame you. It sounds messy."

We left it at that, not wanting to ruin our good mood. We decided on staying in, drinking wine, eating appies, and catching up was our best bet for tonight and then getting Chris and Katie to come out with us the next day. Breanne was one of the people I could talk to about anything so I decided to share my lunch "date" with Nathanial who I also hadn't heard from in a few days. I tried to paint a better picture of him for Breanne than I did for Katie because apparently I didn't do a very good job the first time I tried it.

"He sounds intense. And serious, maybe too serious." Was Breanne's opinion of him. "You're such a happy, positive person, don't you think someone who can barely crack a smile would be kind of a bummer to be around?"

I had to think about that for a second. He did seem intense and serious, but I was pretty sure he had a good sense of humour under that tough outer facade. "Yeah, true. But that's probably not even something I have to worry about at this point because a) I don't know him at all yet, maybe he is more relaxed once I get to know him, and b) I still don't think it would go anywhere because we work for the same company, or head honcho anyways."

We went to bed after hours more talking with plans to play tourist the next day and explore Seattle. I woke up and laid in bed playing on Pinterest when Breanne started sending be ions letting me know she was up. I yelled at her to come lay in bed with me and we Pinterest-ed together for a while and talked about random things (this had been our morning tradition whenever we had sleepovers and since Pinterest came out).

Breanne's favorite place is Pike Place Market so that's where we started our tourist day. I truly loved this place to because to me this was truly authentic Seattle. I loved the bouquets of fresh flowers (so cheap too!) and the smell of fish. We bought flowers, not fish, and some handmade jewelry and a great landscape shot of the Seattle skyline. After a quick stop at the gum wall (ew!!!), we spend a few hours at the aquarium before grabbing a lunch on the go. Our next stop was the Space Needle (you kind of have to if you're being a tourist). That was enough sightseeing for us for one day and we headed back home to have a power nap and then get ready to go out.

Katie and Chris came over for dinner and pre-drinks. As I suspected everyone got along great. Chris' friend, Daniel, would be meeting up with us again later. I was kind of relieved that there was no Jess around because that meant there was no Rheece drama tonight. We started at the Pink Door for some great drinks and entertainment (hello, they had acrobats!).

I was in the process of downing a delicious Long Island iced tea when Katie grabbed my arm. "I think I just saw Jess." She whispered.

"Holy shit. What? Where!?" I looked around to see if I could spot her anywhere.

"Between those two tables." Katie pointed in the general direction but I couldn't see anything.

"I'll just stick close to group. If Rheece is here he won't do anything if everyone is here, especially not if Chris is a foot away."

After a couple more drinks I had forgotten all about the possible Jess spotting. I was having the best time, and only interrupted it for a quick trip to the bathroom. I went alone, mostly because I was feeling a bit tipsy and Rheece was the furthest thing on my mind. I was adjusting my jeans (I can't keep these on to save my life but they are so cute....pain =beauty) on the way back to our table when someone grabbed my arm. I spun around, almost losing my balance because of the heels and tipsiness, and gasped.