Mistakes

"Come here." Nathanial said and pulled me to the door and outside.

I followed more than willingly. Maybe it was my buzz from the alcohol or the giddiness from having Breanne here, but I felt great and seeing Nathanial who has been haunting my dreams just made me feel that much better. He led me down the street and into a dark back alley. Not once did I question where he was taking me or what we were going to do. All I knew is that I wanted him, and I wanted him now.

All of a sudden Nathanial stopped and I teetered on my heels at the abrupt halt. He spun around and pushed me up against the wall. His mouth crushed down on mine as he trapped both my wrists with his long fingers and raised them over my head. Even with my heels he had to bend down to reach my mouth. I parted my lips to let his tongue in while his free hand roamed up my thigh and under my dress. He let go of my wrists and, using both his hands, hoisted me up so my legs could wrap around his waist. Nathanial never broke this insanely passionate kiss as his hand brushed over my butt to slide a finger under my thong. I was wet. I wanted this. I ran my hands through his hair, my senses in overdrive. The bottom of my dressed was bunched up around my waist. While this is never something I would normally do, and I mean never (!), at this moment I didn't care where we were and who saw us. All I knew is that I wanted him more in this moment than I had ever wanted anyone else in my life. I reached between us to undo the button of his pants and felt his impressive erection. I needed him inside me right now.

Out of nowhere, Nathanial set me down and took a step back, his breathing heavy. My vision was slightly fuzzy and my breathing as uneven as his as I pulled the bottom of my dress down.

"This was a mistake." He said after a moment of silence that was only interrupted by the occasional sounds of traffic coming from the road.

I couldn't quite get my thoughts in order and couldn't figure out what to say to that. I was extremely turned on and so confused. Before I had a chance to say anything he ran his hand through his already messy hair, looked at me one last time, then turned around and left the dark alley disappearing around the street corner.

"What the fuck." Was the only thing I could say, but he was long gone and couldn't hear me anymore.

I stood for a moment longer, feeling completely sober and more than a little embarrassed by my outburst of passion or lust or whatever it was. A shiver ran over my skin and realization struck me that I was all by myself in a dark alley in the middle of the night. As fast as I could I hurried out of alley and back to the bar. I found my group of friends right away and Breanne looked understandably pissed.

"You jerk. I've been so worried!" She said accusingly but went to fix my hair (that probably looked like I had just about had sex with someone against a brick wall).

"I know, I'm sorry. I wasn’t thinking at all."

"Jess said you left with Nathanial. What happened? I didn’t even get a good look at him."

Chris handed me a drink silently, squeezed my hand like he always does knowing full well I would fill him in later, and went back to his conversation with Daniel. Katie hurried over from the bar and demanded details immediately.

"Ugh. We kissed, then he said it was a mistake and ditched me very fast." I don’t know if it was my new drink that started up my buzz again, but I was pissed. He was the one that dragged me outside, he was the one that had initiated the kiss. Sure, I had participated very willingly (and enthusiastically), but he was the one that made the moves. Also, in my opinion you can't kiss someone like that and then declare it a mistake. That's just hurtful.

"I'm not impressed with him." Katie stated. "Totally hot for him to kiss you like that. Totally not okay to call it a mistake and also, not okay to just leave you by yourself in a dark alley."

Breanne echoed her sentiments and wrapped her arm around my shoulders. "Forget about him. Let's just have fun okay? I love you."

I smiled at her. "I love you too. I'm so glad you're here!"

We spent another hour drinking and dancing, and while I had a good time, I couldn't stop thinking about Nathanial. I was mad at him and myself for losing control like that. Clearly he was right and this was a mistake. Even with how pissed and confused I was, part of me knew I would do it over again.